Its been almost a year sense I was last around on Deviant art. Sense then I have lost the one I believed to be my one and only. I have been seconds from Suicide, and been on anti-depressant medication.
As of last week I took myself off the pills and am trying to accept my life for what it is. Its true that the woman I hold closest to my heart may no longer have feelings for me, or even want to speak a single word to me in all this time, but that wont change the way I feel for her. All I can do is accept this as my reality and hope that I can find the courage to seek someone else. I have waited a year sense she left me, and while I am willing to wait for all eternity for her to come back to me, my family and friends are not.
My self depression and guilt over what I could have done better or what I might have done wrong has only driven me farther from the rest of the important people in my life. So I am going to be doing my best from now on to move forward. I will leave a nice figurative home in my heart for her, and I doubt I will ever go seeking someone else for love.
On the other hand, sense I've been off the medication, I have gotten a little bit of my artistic urge back. I've drawn two new doodles and am debating on wether to upload them or not. It would seem that I've acumulated a nice thick layer of rust and forgotten my process for drawing a whole lot of things.... Ya know... cause I don't do that silly thing with making bubble models first.... i really need to learn to do that... And Yet my nit picky over analytical brain still points out WAY more flaws in my drawing then what many people would even notice.